When it rains it pours around here that is for sure.  In the last three months we have had some major financial disasters in the house.  Our furnace leaked (because it was dying), ruined our floors in the basement.  Insurance covered the floors to be redone-but not the new furnace.  While taking out the floors it was discovered the toilet had broken and had been leaking-fixing it was over 1000.00.  Just as we managed to pay for all that-I was flossing (yes flossing) and broke a tooth.  It needed a crown for 1300.00 that was not covered by my craptastic dental insurance.  Then last week we noticed the basement was oddly hot-figured it was a setting on the new furnace called the plumber/oil company out.  Nope-there is a leak UNDER THE HOUSE!!!!!!!  So the only way to fix it without ripping up all those new floors I just had put in and drilling under the house is to create a work around.  Thankfully this was not as expensive as I was expecting and will be about 1000.00 when all is said and done.  So for some quick math-1000 for the toilet, 1000 for the tooth, 1300 for the furnace (we took a loan for the rest), 1000 for the leaked pipe.  Four thousand dollar-although we had some-we didn't have that on hand.  So we had to put it on a credit card.  Without giving giving out all the details we already have a lot of credit card debt.  More than makes me comfortable to have considering we both have jobs. It adds up random stuff like Josie's bedroom set or a cash advance during one of those storms to take down dangerous trees.  It kills me that I spent two years paying down 5000 in that debt only to put it back on.  Money is what stresses me out the most.  I hate having debt-mainly credit card debt.  

I am trying to remain positive-these are things that needed to be done.  We will pay off the entire credit card new stuff and all in about three years.  Its not that horrific it just gets me all stressed out. 

Then I remind myself-I need to be kind to myself.  This is a hard time for me-A lot of the panic and worry I feel is just anxiety that is related to my life situation right now-not actually anything to do with the situation.  

No one is sick or injured.  It is just money.  There are times I will have more of it and times I will have less (A lesson my dad tried to always impart on me).  Ryan is much more calm.  He tells me its only money-we will be ok.  I am thankful that I have that.  

So lately I have been trying to not focus on the above-but to let that go.  So that is what I am doing.  A wee ranting to let it go.   To focus on the happy spots in my life.  

For me it was a vacation at home with the kids-Relaxing and doing some much needed stuff around the house.  To focus on our health, our time together, and just the ability to appreciate what we have and not worry about what we don't.