Something I need to forgive someone for-So this one might be harder than my previous post. The person I need to forgive is my husband. Although he is very open about this part of his life, I am not but I probably should be. Almost two years ago my husband set into a very severe depression. It was bad...so bad that almost two years later I am not over it. Obviously he is doing much better or I would have never had a second child, but I am still dealing with how devastating his illness was to him and me and our family. When you get married you say for better or worse, but you never think a lot about what "for worse" can mean. For me it was almost 7 month of living with a shell of the person I loved, living in a house filled with anger, sadness, and despair. That entire time I would get up every day and wish things were better, go to work and pretend things were fine, and come home to my own private hell. I never told anyone, not my parents, not my best friend, no one. I pretended that life was fine hoping that if I pretended enough it would be true. Although we have come through this (with a lot of therapy for both of us) better people, parents, and a better couple I am still angry. I am angry for the loss of those months, the pain and the hurt that I had to live through. I know it is selfish of me to say because I know it was horrible for my hubby too. I of course love my hubby and am so proud of him for getting help and getting his head and heart where it needs to be, but I do have to forgive him so that I can begin to really deal with that part of our lives and put it behind us.
There is more to ME than being a mom-That just happens to be the most important part!
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You are amazing for sharing all of this! Love and hugs!