Today is my first father's day in the 2.0 version.  Most new versions of operating systems of technology are newer better editions.  Well my 2.0 isn't better....its sort of this odd new shitty version.  

What can I say....I miss my dad.  I loved my dad and he loved me and my kids with a fierceness I can't even begin to comprehend.  Its very hard not to get sucked into the darkness of not having my dad here.  Yet, I won't indulge myself in a more than a minute or two of sadness.  That is my present to my dad.  He would never want me to be sad or devastated.  He would insist he wasn't worth those tears.  I also promised myself and my kids and my dad on the day he died that I wouldn't let this ruin me.  That I would use his death to help inspire me to get healthy.  I have been in survival mode and haven't been attending to myself.  So my gift to him won't be tears...it will be the motivation I need to get myself moving back to a healthy heart and mind.

So to my dad....You were the greatest dad a girl could ask for-Happy Father's Day.  I love you, I miss you, and I will every day of my life.