I am sitting here posting this blog while a sweet little lady sits beside me watching Sofia the first for the 50th time and still loving every moment of it.  Yesterday for me was a particularly rough day.  I know I have mentioned it before but not recently that Dylan my oldest suffers from anxiety and yesterday was a rough one for them, if I am being honest it has been more like a rough few weeks for him.  After a long day at work, and then a really long afternoon with the kids I was ready to throw in the towel and be grumpy about it.  I was just ready to post on facebook and then I saw a post from the #teamrobby page.  His mom was posting (I am summarizing here) that she was taking her son home because although he had a horrible brain injury he could breath on his own but had to much damage and was not going to be able to be rehabbed.  So here was this mother talking about bringing home her horrifically brain damaged child who would never be a "normal"child again and how was she going to move on with her life.  Suddenly I felt like a really huge A-hole.  Yes my kid has some anxiety issues, and yes that makes my life hard sometimes but not hard like this mom.  I can't imagine the pain that she is experience having had a child who is perfectly healthy one day and the next be basically brain dead taking them home to give them 24 hr care for the rest of their life.

My thoughts then went to a friend of a friend who after nine months of a healthy pregnancy had some complications during birth (don't know and didn't want to know more of this horrific story than I already did).  The baby was severely brain damaged and had a spinal cord injury.  The parents had to make a horrific decision and decided it was best for the child to be given up to someone who could provide the child with the 24 hour medical care it would need.

Here are two people who are living any parents worst nightmare.  A perfectly healthy child (or baby) and then some horrific life altering accident takes away your hopes and your dreams and the essence that is your child.  My heart breaks for these mothers.  For a loss that I can not even begin to comprehend and selfishly do not want to.

I realized that in my moment of self pity-there are these women and hundreds just like them that would give anything just to life my life (even on my kids worst days) for a moment.  To have the joy that I get to experience with my kids.  To enjoy the quiet moment I am having right now with Josie watching Sofia (although she is currently jumping on the couch).  So I took my pity party and shoved it out the door.  Yes there will be bad/hard days with my kids, but I am blessed to HAVE days with my kids.  I am a very lucky duck!