Several months ago I finished a wonderful booked called "The Husband's Secret"  by Liane Moriarty as part of the Mom's Reading group on Facebook. This is a great little online book club for those of you like me who are dying to be part of a real life book club but don't know of any (hint anyone in my real life who reads this....if you do book club feel free to invite me).  I read this book and was instantly sucked in.  Mainly because I wanted to find out what the hell was going on.  The book begins by telling several characters stories.  Each person's story is one chapter and each chapter switches narrators.  With the switching not only did you get to know each character from their own perspective, you very quickly want to figure out how the hell everyone is connected.  The leading ladies range from a housewife who sells tupperwear and is living the dream, a woman who just found out that her husband wants to leave her for her childhood best friend, and an older woman who is still recovering from her daughters death many years earlier.  Sadly, I can't tell too much about the plot line of the of the book because it would give away major aspects of the story.  I think the figuring out how all these woman are connected is one of the better aspects of the book and I don't want to take that from anyone reading the book.

My only complaint of the book is small, is it the epilogue.  Oddly, it gives a commentary on the ending of the book and how things may have been different or why they happened.  I felt like it was unnecessary and almost like the stories lines the author didn't go with.  It didn't ruin anything, I just felt it wasn't needed.  I would highly recommend this book, especially with the summer months coming up.  This is a great little read.  I would go 4 out of 5 star rating.

Also if anyone is interested go check out the Mom's Reading Group on Facebook, the have book talks both in June and July.  I won't be participating in the June one but I am off to by the July one right now!

So this past week Master D turned 7.  Just typing that seems weird to me.  I feel like it was just yesterday that he was my squishy wishy little baby who was bald till he was two and just a little chunky love bug.

Seriously Cute baby!

I feel like it was a year or so ago that I went into a labor and experience all the excitement...and tram of being a new mother.  The fact that this was seven years ago blow my mind.  My little man and I have been through a lot together in seven years.  He was my soul focus during a very dark period of time when Papa Hunt first was battling depression.  He was my reason for getting up every day and not running away and hiding.  I have watched him grow into this shockingly smart and very cute young man.  I have been by his side as he has struggled with his own issues with anxiety.  That has been the hardest.  A Mama can give a bandaid and a kiss and make most boo-boo's better.  Despite my best efforts I can't stop his worrying-sometimes he like a little old man trapped in a little boys body.  Yet, despite his anxiety I have watched him form friendships and be a sweet young boy.  I have watched in awe as his body has changed from this chunky little baby with rolls and dimples everywhere to a sturdy toddler to a young man.  A few weeks ago I looked at him without his shirt on and got emotional.  He didn't have a little boy's body with a thick legs and a belly...he had a boys body with thin legs, abs where the pudgy tummy used to be,  he even had those dimples above his butt....he was a boy.  I can't imagine what a mess I am going to be when he starts to look like a man...but I will save those tears for another day.

Dylan getting ready for his party-Minion Time

Seven seems old to me and yet still ever my baby.  His birthday was bitter sweet for me.  I love to celebrate him and show him that despite all his worries that we love his sister more than him, that he is tied in the number one spot with her.  I love to celebrate and show him how important he is to us and how special he is.  It is bittersweet because with every birthday he grows just a little big older and a little bit closer to not needing me.  As much as in the middle of the night when he wakes up and needs me I dread the drudging out of bed...in reality I know that there will be a time sooner rather than later that I miss them.  So I will leave you with a few photos from his birthday....one thing is for sure...he is a silly little monkey-May this about him never change!

One of the many outtakes trying to get a photo of him with his balloons-Silly Bear

Making Minions with his sister

The finished product for his party

So I have missed my little corner of the world. I don't know why but I was feeling a lot of pressure to make this place something other than what it was.  A place for me to be me.  To talk and vent and rant and rave and do all the crazy things that frankly make me-me!

I was feeling a lot of pressure to review things (which don't get me wrong I love to do) but that may have to be a summer thing or maybe only the choicest of books.  I found myself reading lots of books not because I really wanted to but for reviews.  I would feel guilt that I wasn't reading enough instead of reading what I wanted.

I also felt....I don't know some need to be better at weight loss etc.  I loved being a Mamavation Mom but I felt it set something off in my brain that had be silent for a long time.  That voice in my head that said I needed to be perfect, that I needed to be a specific something.  I was ashamed to admit that I slipped back into bad habits.  Binge eating.  It has been a hell of a ride this year and I didn't really know what else to do so I self medicated and it led to being 20 pounds heavier then I was at the end of my Mamavation campaign (mind you I put about 7 of that back on over the course of the summer-but 15 of that came this school year).  I am pissed about it/upset about it.  Yet, instead of making positive changes and moving forward I was dancing around the topic on here, not being real.  I was also continuously beating myself up about it which only led to more unhealthy behaviors.

To me the worst part of the last year (My mamavation campaign ended in early june last year) isn't those 20 pounds but the fact that I lost sight of me.  The me who laughs and has fun.  The me who is laser focused on what is important things like love, happiness, family, and friends.  I lost that along the way and just needed to be away.  I took a lot of time over the past few weeks, even before I pulled the plug on blogging, thinking about how to get back to me.  When I get like this I push a lot of people way because it is easier to put up a fake facade then really be me.  It is easier to not call or text  my best friend because I don't want to keep talking about how shitty things have been (although I know she would always listen because she is an amazing friend).  Its hard to admit that sometimes your life is out of control despite your best efforts to make it ok.  I like to make it look like I always have it together but fall and winter were really rough with work and my son....it burnt me out.  I have spent the last few weeks focused on getting me back. Taking back control and I not only have found myself in a better place...I realized yet again that pretending all is well really don't serve me to well.

Despite some time "finding me"-which is a lame ass term by the way.  I realized I missed this place.  I missed what it was originally for.  It was meant to be a space to to be truly me.  The good, the bad, the imperfect me along with the beautiful, funny, foul mouthed, princess that I am.

So I think I am back but with a few changes or perhaps more of a getting back to me.  To talking about the shit that annoys me, for ranting all emo about my shitty weight issues, and blogging about the good things in my life.  My kids, my friends, my family, and all those creative endeavors and awesome books I love so much.

So here is to me....to the "rebranding" of both me and my blog.

I will leave you with some of my favorite photos that I was too cranky to share before.  Frankly, there isn't enough cuteness on the internet I am going to add some more!

Miss J in her new purple sparkle skirt

My snuggle buddy Biscuit who has been so important during these not so good times-he is the best snuggler ever (shh don't tell the hubby)

Miss J working it

Master D and I at Busch Gardens in Florida in April

My girl riding a Zebra in Florida

Master D minus a few teeth

Josie's cute face with her new "its so fluffy" friend

What can I say its my mini me!

I do love my hippos!

Just in case I forget-A new favorite saying of mine