My dad and my kids on their picture day before he took them to school-4 days before he died

So although the kids have been having slight fevers on and off for the last few days I ventured out with Josie to find a dress for our upcoming photos this weekend.  I know my lady if she doesn't like her outfit there is no way no how she is going to wear it.  So we did a little grocery shopping then headed over to the local department store to use my 20% off coupon and get an outfit.  Now of course this retailer had their frozen merchandise out in full force so there was a good 20 minutes of "Mom Look at this" 'Oh mom look at this dress" "Mom there is Frozen stuff everywhere".  So I went with best possible-I had her pick out a frozen outfit then had her set her sites on a holiday dress.  She was very specific going in.  She wanted a red and green dress with either silver or gold in it.  Well shockingly we found out.  I loved another one better, but the little lady liked another one-that was green and red with gold in it.  So we like that one and a second stunning sweater dress with black designs that will be perfect for Thanksgiving and picture day at school which is also this week! Here is a picture of that dress

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Several months ago before I put my blog on hiatus for family reasons I received this great book for my daughter.  It is a series of daily stores and bible versus for children.  The stores are written so that they are very relatable to children and also have the bible versus and an explanation of the verse.  Now I was a little skeptical at first because lets be honest what kid is really into reading bible verses-none (or almost none).  Well this book was a lovely surprise.  The book is written to appeal to the princesses, which my little lady certainly is.  The book has a variety of stories and morals to learn through the bible verses.  It was very creative, with super cute photos, and very appealing to my little lady.  Miss J is only four so some of these went over her head but a lot of the stories were really on point for a young child.  I though this was a great way to introduce some of the positive teachings of the bible to a young child.  Although we are religious and attend church we are not a family that reads the bible regularly or is involved in daily bible study.  This I thought was a nice way to introduce faith and the bible to my young daughter who is not yet attending religious education.

I think this would make a nice gift for the upcoming holidays or for any girl who is making her first communion soon.  I also think that it bares pointing out that this book is appropriate for various Christian faiths.  For example the author of the book and my religion are not the same but I felt the book was a great fit.  My only complaint is that as of when they sent me the book a few months ago they did not have a boy version.

As regular readers may have noticed I have been posting but not a lot about my weight. There are a few reasons for that.  Mainly it is because there is nothing to report.  I am not loosing weight or gaining weight I am just hovering within the same ten pounds give for take for the last six months or so.  Sometimes it pisses me off, sometimes I don't care.  At the end of last school year and the start of this one I have been very blah about my weight loss.  Not that I am blah about knowing I need to loose weight just not mentally there.  I have been going to weight watchers with a dear friend because we both need the support, but I haven't gone in two months.  Sometimes because soccer, dance, and ccd on Saturday Am's makes it tough but sometimes because I am not into it.  For me, I just needed to get my head right.  I was really negative about everything-including my weight.  I needed some time to start feeling better.  I have been putting an effort into feeling confident in my clothes and my own skin and I have been coming a long way lately.  I also know my binge eating has come back with a vengeance and if I am not careful getting crazy with weight watchers makes that even worse.  Yet, no excuses I am not loosing weight because I am not working at it right now.

Now back to this place.  I have said a lot of times I missed this place.  I missed the comfort of posting here brings to me.  Both the reviews of products and books (I just got an awesome children's book in to review today).  I like that this place gives me something to be other than just Mama Hunt or Mrs. Hunt.   Yet I was staying away because I felt I should be posting about my weight loss journey and I didn't want to because there wasn't one.  I know bloggers step away from their blogs all them time...but it wasn't like I wanted to.  I was feeling the pressure to post about things that were not my focus then I realized something.  HELLOOOOOOO this is my blog. First of all I am not a brand or some famous person.  This is my place...so who cares.

So there is the update.....I don't think I am going to talk about my weight loss here.  I may give updates occasionally but maybe not.  Just like being a mom isn't the only aspect of my life...neither is weight loss or weight gain.

Do any of you who blog feel like you get pigeonholed into talking about certain topics??

All the ingredients:  One Pound Cluck-n-Moo, one pound ground pork, two large peppers, three tomatoes (one is hidden behind the Cluck-n-Moo, a large onion, garlic, BBQ sauce, ketchup, and bread crumbs.  All veggies except the onion are from my garden.

All veggies chopped

Step Two:  Next add in about a half cup of breadcrumbs and the egg.

Add it all in the bowl (use ketchup and BBQ to your personal taste-for me its a lot!)

Step Three:  Mix it all together

All mixed in

Step Four: Add it to a big-ole-pan and cook at 375 till meat is cooked through

Finished product

Cooked meatloaf with Brussel Sprouts and Sweet Potato  Fries

One of the last books I picked up over the summer was The Book Thief.  I had noticed that several of my friends were reading and suggested it as a good read.  It also made a few lists of the books you need to read before you watch them.  I am so glad I did this is one of the best books I have read in the last few years and I would recommend it to anyone.

One of the best aspects of this book was the unique points of view. The entire book was written from the point of view of death.  It was interesting to think about and see what death would be like if they were a person and their take on what it means to usher someone from this life to the next.  In addition to the unique viewpoint of the book that characters in this novel were amazing.  Anyone who has read my reviews knows that I am big on the characters in the book.  Not only in this book was a immediately attached to the main character Liesle but the secondary characters as well.  I was drawn not only to the relationships between the characters I was drawn to them individually.  I can honestly say in the sadder moments of the books I openly wept.  One of my favorite characters was that of Liesle's best friend and almost boyfriend Rudy.  He reminded me of many of the boys that have drifted through my life over the years and I wanted so much more for him.

I think it also is worth noting that the basic story of this book, which is told during the holocaust, has been told a 1000 different ways.  Being a history buff I have read countless accounts, novels, memoirs of the holocaust .  To me this novel brings a whole new feel to the story not only with the character work and storyline but again the book being told from the point of view of death was key.  There was something breathtaking about hearing death describe his work during those most tragic of events during the holocaust.

To me this was a must read I would encourage anyone to read it.  This was definitely a 5 out of 5

In the end the truth is sort of irrelevant because come holiday time there will be a beautiful new baby to love and spoil.  A wee one whose mom and dad will still need a helping hand as all-new parents do…. and an occasional baby sitter who will steal that cute baby for snuggles!  I can’t wait for the baby snuggles…. because in the end it won’t matter whom they got here…just that they are here. So yeah...I guess the truth really  isn't  that important

Ok so I am sure a lot of people are like what the hell with this title so let me just get right to it.  Last school year was shit....plain and simple.  I have spent a lot of time this summer reflecting on what exactly made this school year so bad and how can I fix that for this coming one.  I am not stupid I know some of the stress and crappy stuff I can not fix and just have to deal with.  Yet, there are things that made last school year bad that I could have handled differently etc.  Then last week I realized a former co-worker not someone I considered a dear friend but someone I was friendly with had unfriended me.  Now lets be real here, I work in high school I am not in high school.  I am under no dilution that we all are BFF's for life and bull like that.  Yet it stung.  That person unfriending me stung.

Now at first I thought this was because I have a constant need to be liked...so I figured that was why I was upset.  But when I was sitting (technically driving) I realized why it stung.  I think perhaps this was deserved.  Now I don't believe I did anything mean, bad, awful to this person but I don't think I was not the best person I could be...which leads me back to how this ties into my reflections of the last school year.


I have always liked to be like....I am just that girl.  I am a good girl who hates people mad at me, upset with me, not liking me etc.  Spent shit loads (yes that is a real quantity by the way...slightly more then a ton...yet not a zillion) of time in therapy to deal with this have to liked-shouldn't be a fake me so people like me stuff.  I like to be social.  Where my husband is an introvert.  I am extrovert (a very shy extrovert, but an extrovert nonetheless).  I want to be part of the group.  I want to be social.  I want to be friends with everyone (Yes I know that is unrealistic-Hence the shit load of therapy people).

If I am being honest this often leads me to be gossipy. Not the gossip, talking shit behind people's back, gossip.  I just always like to know what is going on, what everyone is up to, etc.  I would never say something behind someone's back I wouldn't say to their face (believe me I have had to own up to this a few times recently).   I think by indulging in gossipy behavior it also lead to drama.  I am hearing about drama, I am talking about drama, I get wrapped up in it.  This drama can be between coworkers, someone issues at home, issues with the boss/es (I use drama to cover a wide range of topics here)


It sort of hit me...that shit-that drama.  Is none of my damn business.  There is no reason for me-even if I am not directly talking about it-that I should even be sitting in listening to it.  There is no reason.  I get sucked into shit that isn't my concern and at the end of the day it is not flattering to me or is not leading me to being who I want to be.  Often being around drama and getting involved even in a cursory way is exhausting.  Who I want to be is a good friend, a kind co worker-someone who is always respected as a professional.  Now those of you who don't work with-Please don't think I am sitting around slinging shit talk.  I am not.  I am just allowing me to get sucked into common work place gossip and the pissing and moaning of a horrendous school year.


The other part of my reflection on this past school year is this....if you take out the drama- my school year was great.  I had great students, did an amazing job navigating through horrendous changes at my job, and kept my head above water.  Where I started to sink was I allowed this drama to take me down.  Drama for me at work is that work place gossip, allowing other people's issues now become my own, and taking on on other people's stuff.  This summer I have realized that I can be a good co-worker and a good friend without taking on others burdens, issues, stuff as my own.  I can be supportive to the people I work with, lend an ear or a shoulder for support, but then realize that this is not my issue or my burden to carry. I can still fight for what I believe in but not allow myself to get to dismayed over the daily negativity and let downs that is teaching today

Teaching today is hard.  Being a mom is hard.  Being a good friend and person is hard.  My reflections have led me to realize that some of what I have done this year, and not done this past year made this past year so shitty.  It makes me realize what I need to do for the new school year.  So since I love a good list here it is.

I can make sure that I spend my time at work enjoying my co-workers and friends (because many of them I consider both) company but not allow myself to get concerned/wrapped up in things that are not be business.  I will enjoy my relationships at work for what they are....what I mean is I have friends at work (I hang out with them outside of school and they are big parts of life) I have work friends (people who I care about, know a lot about their lives and enjoy their company but other than social media we don't really interact much outside of work) and coworkers.  These are three separate groups of people who all play an important role in my life....and I need to "know my roll".  Ok-so I didn't say what I really meant :-)  I just mean that I need to not worry less about what the hell everyone else is up to, talking about, doing and focus on me and my life.  This is not meant in a callous way but in a way that makes me realize I do not need to be so concerned with the who what where when and drama about everyone and every thing at work.

Well now that I wrote a whole huge post and everyone thinks that I am a gossipy bitch who isn't going to talk to anyone anymore :-0!  This was a post that was more for me than anyone else.  It was a post about taking responsibility for a shitty year.  It was for me to acknowledge that even though I had spent a long time working on certain behaviors that I allowed myself to fall into old patterns of caring too much what others thought about me, my constant need to fit in, and allowed those thoughts to run the show.  I allowed my true self the one, I want the world to see, to be covered up by being someone I wasn't proud of.

Now, back to that unfriending thingy.  Let me be honest, I know that this was a person who was only in my life for a brief snip it for time.  Although I am sad they were clearly upset by something I did I am sort of glad it happened.  That allowed me to really sit and think about this past school year and really evaluate if I made the best choices for myself as I could...and clearly that was a no.

Here is hoping to better choices and a much better, happier, and healthier new school year.  2014-2015 school year here I come!

There have been a ton of articles and posts recently about Robin Williams death.  A few last night and today have caught my eye.  Last night I read an amazing post by Liz over at Prior Fat Girl  and especially this article that I saw on Facebook this am http://www.tomclempson.com/2014/08/robin-williams-did-not-die-from-suicide/ .  If you haven't read this one yet, its short go read it.

So as soon as I saw the title on Facebook-Robin Williams didn't die of suicide I knew where he was going.  It was going to the place my mind did as soon as I heard the news he died last night.  It was news that was hard for me and my husband to hear.  It was news that was so sad and tragic but we got it.  To most people it is hard to understand Depression.  It is hard to understand how someone who was so funny, who had such a big bubbly personality, a comedian no less, could be Depressed.  Yet in this house we got it.  I heard a few people online talking about the "darkness" of depression.  I think that might be the best way to describe this illness.  Just darkness.  Just like when the sun sets at night that darkness starts out just at the farthest point of the horizon and before long the darkness engulfs the whole sky till the next morning when the sun breaks through.  Sadly for those who battle depression a lot of their life seems like you are waiting for the sun to rise and it never does.

Perhaps I need to be a little less metaphorical here.  As many of you know, if you haven't you will now. Papa Hunt has Depression. The kind that doesn't go away even when you really want it to.  The kind that doesn't care if you have a great job, a house, and the perfect family.  It only goes away with hard fucking work and medication.  When Papa Hunt's depression was it its worse I bet most people never knew.  His co-workers did not know, his students didn't know, his family didn't know, and his friends didn't know.  Why-becuase he and I covered it up.  Depression isn't something that means you are crying and on the floor and incapacitated.  For him it was going to work then coming home and not being able to function. It meant always being tried.  It meant huge mood changes.  Papa Hunt is loving, gentle, calm, and funny.  When his depression has set in-he is a mean asshole who can't get out of bed.  As much as I love him the times when he has been depressed there is no other words that to say he was a asshole.  I knew he was sick but it doesn't stop me from hating the person he was.  It took me (and him) a shitload of therapy to deal with how bad it got around her.

Thankfully he took the time to get help....a lot of hard work, good medicine, and learning how to live with his depression and things are good.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't work every day. It doesn't mean that we don't make sacrifices for that.  He needs a lot of sleep and down time to decompress to handle his stress.  Its hard sometimes.  Certain times things are harder to handle but it is always work.

It is hard to read about a famous man, beloved by so many, who that hard work became too much.  It is easy for us to understand this.  When you live it like my husband or you witness it up close like I have you realize just how this disease can sweep you up and the "darkness" can over take you.

Writing this is hard, reading abut Robin Williams is hard, seeing people's shocked reactions are hard.  Those who are shocked have not known anyone with serious depression-that is why they are shocked.  The people who are not shocked are the ones who know what a beast the "darkness" is.  

Its hard because for a brief moment I allow my head to go to that place that I often don't let it go.....how close was what happened to Robin Williams and his family to my life five years ago? Then reality hits-it was close and always will be.  We just need to make sure that we always work our asses off to keep the lights on in our house and keep the darkness out.

So I began reading this book to be part of my Mom's Reading Group over on Facebook.  I had read a great review of it in the New York Times book reviews as well as seeing it come up occasionally on Amazon.  I was able to snag it at a few bucks on Amazon's used books.  For those of you who love books like I do, being used on amazon is a good way to go.

So as I began the book I instantly loved it. Then again I am a huge historical fiction fan so what would not be to like about a book about the "Lost Generation".  I do love this time period and am endlessly fascinated by F Scott Fitzgerald.  This book takes a look into the life of both Ernest Hemingway and his wife Haddy.  It covers the store of how they met, the early good years of their marriage, and its ultimate end.  Although this book is about Hemingways' wife I found it was equal parts always about him. After reading this book, I can assume that is how it always was when they were together-all about him.  Now I loved the character development and the love story that was Ernest and Haddy.  I also really liked the look into how their marriage fell apart.  Most often stories of divorce are about the bitterness and finality of it, there was a lot of the book that was about them trying to figure out how to end their marriage.

A negative of this book was I was expecting something more from it. It got amazing reviews-I just sort of kept waiting for a big moment, something monumental.  That never happened. It doesn't mean that it takes away from the positives of the book it just means that if you are reading for this for a big shocking moment, a huge plot twist...this book doesn't have that.  Having finished this book a few weeks ago I am not more ok without that big moment then I was upon completion of it.  This was a solid read with great character insight and development.  I would give it 3 out of 5 stars....maybe 3 1/2 only because it didn't have that moment that I kept expecting.

As the summer is speeding on every teacher begins to panic once the calendar switches over to August.  For me its not a matter of looking at the calendar it is the signs that are popping up that indicated that summers coming to a close.  Here are the five ways I know summer is coming to a close.


1.  The school dreams start.  Ask any teacher and most of them tell you that we have back to school dreams, or nightmares.  For me they usually involved the setting up of my classroom and my new classes.  Some of them are good but more often than not I wake up in a cold sweat.

2.  Someone says "It must be so nice to have the whole summer off".  Yes I know to most people it seems like I have a ridiculously long summer vacation...and to be honest I do.  I also don't know that if I worked for the state or a business after 12 years I would definitely have a lot of time off that I could choose when I take it-which is not the case with school.  I am blessed to get the time off though

3.   I then have the deep need to punch said people who mentioned about my summer off in the face....ok not that severe  More I want to have them spend one month doing my job then discuss with me the length of my vacation.

4.  I get giddy at the site of the target school supply section.  I love the section with all the new school supplies.  I love stocking up on supplies for my room, the fresh promise of all those supplies, and the fact that I can fill up a whole cart for both that much money.

5.  That exciting feeling that waivers between wanting to puke and sweaty palms and sheer joy.  I love my job, I love the promise of the a new school year, and dread it all at the same time.  Every year is like the first day of high school when you are freshman....I am just 34 instead of 14.

My New Planner-To go with my new school supplies

As my blog title says I am just ME-A mom and much more!  So lets start with the most important part I am a mom.  I am a mom to two amazing kids.  Master D who is currently 7 years old and Miss J who is four years old.  I am also mommy to two fur children my rat terrier Olivia and my Dashchund mix Biscuit who were both adopted.  I am married to my college sweetheart Papa Hunt.  Although being a mom and wife are a huge part of my life there is more to me than that.  I am a high school history teacher who despite how hard it is-I love my job.  I am an avid reading and love to review books.  I also love crafting especially those involving my knitting needles and crochet hook.  Finally the last and probably least interesting part of me is a I am women who has struggled with her life weight her entire life and I am determined to overcome my binge eating and make my way to the best ME I can be.  Oh did I mention coffee...I also will be drinking a lot of coffee on my journey too!

PS-Check out my new signature!  Lets see if I remember to use it!

Day One of the building a better blog challenge has me thinking about how and what is this blog about.  You are suppose to think about how you would pitch/explain your blog to someone in a short amount of time.  I have spent a lot of time pissing and moaning about my weight and struggles but I felt I couldn't just write down that this blog is about my pissing and moaning.  I would then have to change the name of this blog to pissing and moaning etc.  So I spent some time brain storming what this blog is and come up with a tag line (something I could use in a signature to my posts-maybe I will have to learn how to create a signature).  Then to create and about me.  I swear I had an about me section of my blog but guess what....I don't.  So my next post o the blog is going to be my new about me post.  But I will leave you with my new tag line

ME-Mommy Etc
There is more to ME than being a Mom-that is just the most important part!

Ok so here is my attempt at getting back into blogging.  Perhaps it will inspire me to get back to this little hunk of the internet that I used to love.  I have been blogging more and I do like that.  I like that I have a place to write, and think out loud.  My hubs is not much for listening to my emo musings....so here is my place online.  So since it is only August 1st and this challenge and group runs thought the end of the month....why not join me?  Check out the course http://www.problogger.net/31dbbb-workbook/ and there is also a Facebook group that several of the mamavation ladies and I are in to help keep each other accountable and see what everyone else is doing.  Now my plan is to read the daily activities and do some one them as time permits but I thought it would be something fun to do to beef up my blog.

Have you every felt sort of stagnant with blogging?  If so maybe join me and lets so how this rolls out!

10 Year Anniversary selfie

Us at a wedding a few days after our ten year-Look at us matching!

So here is the issue....where the hell do I put them?????I mean I can get like two maybe four at most in my indie drawer of my dresser.  I don't have the space to put them in a bigger drawer.  I mean my bras take up more room that my sweaters in the winter.  Should I ask Papa Hunt to build me a special holding cell for them?? Should I string them across the room??? I don't want my kids to mistake them for some new Angry Birds launcher or some shit like that.

Those of you in my situation....or those of you creative enough.  What should I do for storage of these bad boys?  Maybe I need to go on twitter with the hashtag #tittyprobs

Somewhere along the way I lost my mo-jo for blogging.  I don't think my heart has really been into since shortly after I finished up my stint as a Mamavation Mom just over a year go.  I think life sort of kicked my ass this year.  Look back at a lot of my posts its a lot of whining and bitching, and I also see a lot of covering up.  Not coming to this space to say what was really going on because...well there were a 1000's becauses.  In my last post I said how I am super busy with keeping up with the kids, working, and doing grad work.  I think also my hiatus has been about the 20 pounds I have put on since this time last year.  Also for a girl who has been back at weight watchers for a few months, you think that weight would be gone.  Well it for me it doesn't come off as easy as my ass puts it on.  I keep hiding and feel ashamed about this and should.  Because well....shit-I shouldn't feel bad.  

So I have been working on a lot of good self talk lately.  Something that was a theme in one my recent WW meetings.  That we should never say to ourselves what we wouldn't say to others.  We should treat ourselves with respect...that includes who we talk to ourselves as well as how we treat our bodies.  That got me thinking.  I have been making a lot of positive changes in my life.  I have been working out regularly, I have been eating better, and getting more sleep.  I need to cut myself some slack about why am I not loosing more weight...it is what it is.  I also need to not binge eat...why because I would never allow a friend to binge drink, or do drug if it was hurting them...so why do I allow that for myself.

Finally, I started to think about why this school year was so hard, why life at home was so hard.  It hit me...I was lost.  I was struggling with a new system that was judging me on the one thing that has always been a constant in my life that I knew I was good.  Now I was being judge...by a test...by my students performance if I was good at what I do.  I floundered because I sort of lost that stabilizing thing in my life that in my darkest moments I went back to.  I am good at this...then I must be ok.  Silly I know to have this one thing be my anchor.  As things got worse at work, my weight began to creep up and with every pound and every pair of pants that stopped feeling comfortable or even fitting I felt worst and more lost.  I am a good pretended...only those who really know me knew it was bad.  So that is actually why I went back to weight watchers.  To try and figure shit out.  Grab hold of something and get myself out of this feeling lost.  It has taken my April, May and a most of June to start to feel less lost.  This time at home with my family, reading, working on school stuff, challenging my brain in graduate class it has helped.  But I have missed my blogging.  This place that was mine.  That was an outlet for me-being me.  Hell that is the name of this friggin blog.  So I think I really want to come back here.  Yet, I also don't want to feel that pressure of this having to be "something"  its really not anything more that a diary that I am too lazy to handwrite.


So to those of you still reading this excessively long post....do you think that we as mother's get lost? Have you gotten lost?  What did you do to...I hate this expression "find yourself"

It has been a long time since I posted...It has taken me awhile to settle into my new summer routine as a stay at home mom.  I also some how managed to book all our appointments and three different camps for the kids in the first few weeks of the summer.  Add on to that that I am taking a graduate course and helping write curriculum for a new course I am teaching and swim lessons every night for the kids for the last two weeks.  So basically I have been busier than I was before the school year got out.

As far my health I didn't mention it before...no idea why but I sort of wanted to keep it quiet but I joined weight watchers just before April vacation.  I have been loosing and gaining the same five pounds and I am sort of sick of dicking around.  So recently I decided to try something else new to help stop by endless cycle of bullshit.  I decided to try the new Chalene Johnson PiYo video series and have been committed to tracking everything I am going to eat this includes my anniversary dinner and then a wedding we are going to this weekend.  I plan to do a separate post on what PiYo is all about soon.  Until then I am off to work on the above graduate class!  I hope all those who are still reading this very neglected mine are doing well!

Several months ago I finished a wonderful booked called "The Husband's Secret"  by Liane Moriarty as part of the Mom's Reading group on Facebook. This is a great little online book club for those of you like me who are dying to be part of a real life book club but don't know of any (hint anyone in my real life who reads this....if you do book club feel free to invite me).  I read this book and was instantly sucked in.  Mainly because I wanted to find out what the hell was going on.  The book begins by telling several characters stories.  Each person's story is one chapter and each chapter switches narrators.  With the switching not only did you get to know each character from their own perspective, you very quickly want to figure out how the hell everyone is connected.  The leading ladies range from a housewife who sells tupperwear and is living the dream, a woman who just found out that her husband wants to leave her for her childhood best friend, and an older woman who is still recovering from her daughters death many years earlier.  Sadly, I can't tell too much about the plot line of the of the book because it would give away major aspects of the story.  I think the figuring out how all these woman are connected is one of the better aspects of the book and I don't want to take that from anyone reading the book.

My only complaint of the book is small, is it the epilogue.  Oddly, it gives a commentary on the ending of the book and how things may have been different or why they happened.  I felt like it was unnecessary and almost like the stories lines the author didn't go with.  It didn't ruin anything, I just felt it wasn't needed.  I would highly recommend this book, especially with the summer months coming up.  This is a great little read.  I would go 4 out of 5 star rating.

Also if anyone is interested go check out the Mom's Reading Group on Facebook, the have book talks both in June and July.  I won't be participating in the June one but I am off to by the July one right now!