I don't want to call this a hiatus or a vacation...that makes it sound like I am going to be sitting around on my ass not doing anything.  I am going on a sabbatical-where there will be lots of work happening.  As I mentioned in my last post-things with my son are rough.  Although his sleeping has gotten better we are noticing other issues.  We finally called the doctor and have an appointment with our child psychologist.  Although I know this is a much needed step in the right direction it is still a very hard thing to walk through that door again.  So as much as I love my little blog, this little corner of world that is just mine-I have a lot of work that I need to focus on.

This school year has kicked my ass
The no sleep has kicked my ass
My family life has kicked my ass
My weight loss journey has been kicking my ass

So I am tired of feeling tired and beat up.  From today probably until summer I am getting down to business on kicking back.  I am going to focused on my family, my work, and getting my mental and physical well being where it needs to be.  Sadly that means I need to cut out all the non-essentials.  For me that is my blog, twitter, and most of facebook.  As much as I love these things they are not where my time needs to be.  I do have fun things to share (like a new venture in weigh loss that is going well and some amazing product reviews I haven't gotten to yet

    Please check out this great bible book for girls its amazing
    Also pick up these veggie fries-Amazing and GMO free

I promise when I get back they will get the full review they deserve

I may be back sooner, but right now I need to focus on my and my family and have to cut out all the extra.  I shall miss my little space but right now there are things that need my attention more.  I will you all when my sabbatical is over!

First and foremost Happy St. Patrick's Day to those that do the Irish thing.  We did the whole corned beef and cabbage thing at my parents house Sunday night.  They get this amazing corned beef at their butcher that has almost no fat on it….so it isn't' your standard greasy corned beef.  It was so good!


I haven't posted in awhile things get crazy and I have to shut out all the non essentials which often includes social media and blogging.  That aside I have been really doing much better with my food choices lately and have even lost a few pounds so that is great.  I am still working on getting the exercise in.  That piece has been hard because of the sleep issues in our house.  When we aren't sleeping well it makes it hard to get up the energy to exercise.  I have a goal of three times a week so I will hopefully be back report success.

I have also joined a few online challenge groups to try and help inspire me along the way.  How has everyone's week been going?
                                                       

So this week's Mamavation topic is non-toxic cleaners.  For me I personally love Method cleaners.  Now I do know that they are not as "clean" as some but I really do like that and have switched over.  I may start to investigate other cleaner options.  I am looking forward to seeing what everyone over at Mamavation is using.

Now on to my personal update. It has been awhile since I have blogged.  I am sort of in hiding.  Not a weight thing just a lot going on at home.  I will post more about that later.  Weightloss wise I have been doing good I have lost about four pounds in the last few weeks and am tracking again which is good.  Still trying to figure out the exercise routine and fitting that in. Papa Hunt has been working out with me which is nice but sometimes he backs out so then I am hard time pressing on-on my own.  Also today I took the dogs out and took one out for a wee bit of a jog and it felt great.  I think I may try and get out on warmer days and do a quick mile or so jogging and walking so that when I get back to the running in the spring I am not completely back to zero.

So how has everyone else been doing out there?  What are your fav non toxic cleaning products?

Ok so before I get to the exciting topic at hand…favorite healthy recipe a quick update.  I am still stalled through well all the fault of my own.  It is finals week at work so I am crazy there, the hubs had the stomach flu then regular sick, then I had a bladder and kidney infection, and now I am sick.  Needless to say I am still maintaining because getting the healthy eating and exercise routine has been tough…but I am starting fresh today.  Had a healthy breakfast despite feeling like crap and plan to eat as good as I can till I can workout.  I have a chest cold so my plan is to work the upper body Mamavation 2 week challenge exercises until I can do more of the stuff that involves cardio (well not cardio but you know more deep breathing!).

Also, I have a lot on my mind lately…some of it personal with my own journey that I will talk about later but also some people I love are going through a lot.  SO those who do the prayer thing if you could all say a prayer for a high school classmate and niece of my mom's BFF her son is going in for his second round of antibody treatment (her son has a horrible form of cancer and had been through chemo and a stem cell transplant already).  They need this treatment to work so I will be praying hard from them.  Also a friend from work is having a mastectomy today and for some reason this has me really emotional.  This woman is the funniest, sweetest, most positive woman you will ever meet.  She comes to work and teaches when she can despite being super sick.  She is amazing and I know this is a major surgery and needed but it still breaks my heart for her (as of hitting publish her husband posted she is out of surgery).  So prayers for them both today as they both get one step closer to kicking cancer's ass.


Ok so on to some good stuff….so this recipe is adapted and stolen from www.skinnytaste.com.  It is the easiest cookie ever!  Plus my kids will eat them and think they are "real" cookies not the healthy stuff.  You take two bananas mash them up, add in one cup of quick oats, and a few tablespoons of chocolate chips (I use vegan) bake at 350 till slightly browned and firm.  YUMMMYYYYYY!!!  Super easy and  not that horrible health wise.

So how is every else's week going?  I can't wait to read about everyone's healthy recipes this week!

So there really hasn't been a lot going on and a lot on here in Huntville.  I started to get my ass in gear in terms of getting back on track with the eating and started back with the exercising.  I was hanging tough…then the stomach flu hit.  Papa Hunt hit the porcelain pretty hard…I just have been sick to my stomach for a few days.  I went right back to white food eating (bread, rice, crackers) and it sort of blew my momentum.

So now that I am feeling a bit better I am feeling back on track.  I also am reading a really great book that has me thinking.  Tosca Rena who has put out the Clean Eating Books had a new release this month called the Start Here Diet.  It is not just another repackaged Clean Eating book…it is a look into how to make a huge positive change in your attitude.  It explores her own journey to loose 70 pounds and turn her life around.  I like the questions is asking me to think about-Things I don't really want to think about but really need to think about if I am every going to really get a handle on this weight loss thing.  So that is about it from here….how is everyone else doing in this first week post New Years?

First and foremost let me say how glad I am to be back…both in the sense of Mamavation and in the sense that I feel like I have my head in the game.  The powers that be over at Mamavation decided to bring back the weekly blogging carnival and I am super excited.  I like that I need post weekly but I also like the inspiration that I get from those who post.

So this week's focus is goals or the dreaded New Year's Resolution.  This year I am being bold…no goals with timelines (I always get discouraged over not meeting them) No weightless Goal (its more than a number on the scale) No disappointments over not making my goals.  This year there is just one goal…one focus for 2014…..The Year of ME!  I don't mean this in a super conceded its all about me way…but that my focus needs to be on me.  My actual goal is to be Kind and Good to myself.  What that looks like in practice

1.  I will be kind in how I speak to myself….no more hating and disappointment (This of course will be the hardest thing for me

2.  I will put food into my body so that it can run and feel good (Clean foods and no dairy since I eat it and it kills my stomach)

3.  I will move my body so that I feel healthy and strong

4.  I will take time for myself and the pursuits that I enjoy (more time blogging, knitting,  journaling)so that I am a happy mom and wife

5.   I will opt out of work Drama.  This means the Drama of feeling left when not invited to things and not getting inside jokes (I need to edit this and add in some clarification-thanks Lexy for the reminder).  I know that this drama is 99% in my head….no one makes me feel left out I make myself feel this way and am sick of the self inflicted drama..  No Drama about things at work beyond my control (I will always fight for my students but some of the Drama I can opt out of).  My job is that…a job. I am a good person who is good at my job there doesn't need to be Drama.

In general I just want to spend some time rediscovering who I am.  I think often as a Mother, Teacher, and Wife I get lost in those roles and the real me gets buried.  That persons needs and desires gets lost in favor of everyone and everything else.  My hope and goal for 2014 is get back to being ME.  Which if you look at the title of my blog….that is what this place and space is all about.

So I am wishing all of you…My Mamavation Family, My readers, and My real life friends and family who read this a very Happy New Year!  Enjoy all the promise that a New Year brings!

Where I am at-surviving!  It is a crazy time of year and I am attempting to try and get my eating back on track and actually tracking with weight watchers online again.  I know that I really can't be doing meeting-time and sometimes as helpful as meetings can be I am not in the mental place to have a public weight in.  Plus, let me be honest I need to be sure that if I am paying that kind of money I need to be "in it to win it".  I have also been working out with my t25 tapes and trying to keep up with the Mamavation 2 week challenge.  I am not loosing weight but I haven't been gaining any so I will take what I can!  

Other than that things at school have calmed down a bit (or maybe I have) either way I will take it!  Sadly my little lady is sick-I can hear her coughing while she is sleeping so sad.  Other than that, I am trying to keep my head above water in my grading and I have a graduate class that is due by the first week of January and my goal is to have it done by Dec 22 so I can have my Christmas vacation dedicated to fun with the family!

So as I said in my last post I said I wasn't buried under a pile of papers...well not yet at least.  The start of the school year has been a lot to take in.  This year my school went with a new schedule which is modified block (that means some days my classes meet for 44 min the other days they meet for 86).  The also allows for a daily meeting with other teachers to work on new state mandates.  In addition we have changed the levels from AP/Honor 1, 2, 3, (three being the lowest) to AP, Honors, and Academic which means all new classes because the students in the classes now have different abilities.  At the end of last year I chose to go back to teaching the lowest level classes (I always had taught the lowest level until about three years ago).  Well since then there have been a lot of changes included a lot more needy children in our district along with full inclusion classrooms.  This has been a very hard adjustment.  Not anything I can't handle and I already love my students but it is overwhelming when almost half the class has learning disabilities, emotional disabilities, physical disabilities that impair their learning, or students who are just learning the English language.  I also have some students who have such challenging disabilities they are non-verbal.  Yet, because of the new state standards for teacher evaluations part of my job is based on whether or not I can have these kids do better on a standardized test from the beginning of the year to the end.  It is scary...it doesn't mean I hate my students or their needs, it is just overwhelming.

Its overwhelming to know that a large portion of my yearly evaluation is now based on student performance.  I know I am a good teacher, I know that I work hard and my students learn, its just now they are tested in a manner that I don't agree with.  There are kids in my room now matter how much they try will never do well on this writing and reading test (PS I teach history and they aren't tested on history they are tested on reading and writing skills-that is whole other post it self).  I hate having to care about this.  I want to care about my subject matter, I want to care about bringing history alive for my students in a way that reaches all my students regardless of ability level.  Yet, reality is I have to care and that is overwhelming.

Its also overwhelming in the amount of need my students have.  I want them all to be successful and they all need such different things. I no lie have a special education teacher making me a chart to organize the accommodations that each student gets so I don't forget anyone's accommodations.  It is overwhelming because I am passionate about what I do.  I want every student to be successful in my room and I am willing to do whatever it takes to try and make that happen but when in my smallest class a minimum of ten students have to get special services I worry I am going to forget to do something for a kid and I would feel awful.  I know this will all be fine in a few more weeks when I get to know my students better and their needs and their educational preferences but right now it is overwhelming even when I have my smallest amount of students ever at just over 80. 

So because I have been so overwhelmed with work, keeping up with all my new responsibilities and requirements for the teacher evaluation program, and getting prepared for these new classes it has left me emotionally drained.  To the point of tears some days I am so tired.  Add in a 6 year old with anxiety who has trouble sleeping at night and that makes for one mom who is unmotivated to do anything more than her job as a mom and teacher.  That has pushed aside any desire to exercise or continue to train for my 5k.  This makes me sad because I was on schedule for my Oct 19th Penguin run.  I am going to try and still get there but it is hard to focus on anything else right now.  In fact I have so many amazing books and products to review but I cant even think about those yet.  

Yet, I realized that if I am going to take care of my kids and my students I have to start taking care of me.  It isn't that I have been eating bad I haven't its just lack of exercise.  So I decided a schedule is daunting so my plan is this.  I have signed up for the Mamavation 2 week challenge which I plan to do every day and I want to get out and jog when the weather is nice enough and we have time in the family schedule for me to get out there.  Realistically some days it may be one or the other and I am ok with that.  I just need to get back to having at least 30min a day for me and that me times need to be fitness.

Hey readers,  thanks for hanging in there with me.  It has been a wild ride with the start of school-one I truly wasn't expecting.  Thanks for hanging in and your support!

Thank you all so much for very positive and much needed comments on last weeks post. I started by making little steps. I started tracking again and also getting back on track with my C25K program. Additionally, I sat down yesterday with a five week calendar and wrote out all my workouts. Now I do know that weather might play a factor in this but I figured I would treat it the same way I treated my workouts when I was a Mamavation Mom...if I have to I double up one day or twitch the days around a bit. I felt that if I had a workout schedule I had something to focus on. I also tried challenging myself a bit in terms of my workout with running. Instead of taking the easy route while I am doing intervals I know I can run I took a new route to try and today I picked doing the hill running. Now I did have to stop but I did extra running at the end to make up for it. I was proud that I have a plan. Also, I have been working hard on not eating my stress. Usually this time of the summer I have been into my classroom 10 times already to set up, make copies, and plan my first few weeks. Yet, our building is undergoing huge renovations and we are not allowed in with children under 18...so that means no school visits until today when the hubs can watch the kids. My room thankfully doesn't need a lot of work (for those non teachers this is moving furniture, bulletin boards, supplies etc). Yet, I need to be ready to go by Wednesday because we are day tripping this Thursday to Mystic Aquarium and then Friday the hubs is having minor surgery (more on this soon). So that means no more going into work after that. I also went out dress shopping I am a bit geeky but I love a new fancy dress for the first day of school. I didn't find "the"dress but I found a few options for the rest of the year while out. I also really tried to remain positive and not look incessantly at all my faults and imperfections. I just keep telling myself this isn't about a size or weight this is about being a healthy wife, mom, and teacher for all those who depend on me. This is also while I am taking a bit of a break from posting my weight...I mentioned before I found myself slipping into that dark hole of obsessing about the scale. I am still going to weight watchers, I still weight myself, but I am desperately trying to focus on baby steps as Kia mentioned last week. Thanks again for all the support, I love the comments!!

So super quick post as having just got back from vacation and I have been out all day.  Today was a rough one (I will do details in another post when I am not so emotional).  My vacation was great and I made sure I was active every day.  When I came home I gained a few pounds which was so upsetting because it made me realize that I have gained back some of the weight I lost with Mamavation and I am disappointed in myself for that.  On the other hand I was also proud because I made sure that I kept my promise to myself all summer long.  I have been active and outside with my kids every day that the weather permits and I am more proud of that then I am upset about the weight gain.  As Leah told me a lot this is a process and I will get there if I just buckle down and do it.  So here is to a new week!

So here is the weekly update after a really great almost four pound loss this week I gained a wee bit back and I am ok with that.  I know my body and I know how it likes this up down up down game.  If at the end of the month I am less I count that as a victory.  I did stay true and try and get out to exercise more which I was happy with.

I also had a sort of NSV (non scale victory) if you will this week.  When I applied to be a Mamavation Mom I really wanted to have this be the first of many steps in a weight loss and healthiness journey.  So I promised myself that I didn't want to be that mom who sat round and had her kids blobbed out in front of the TV.  So on Sunday I got and started back with Couch to 5k to get me over my running hump (I can do a mile straight but that is about it so I figured try this for awhile and get on a planned routine). So I went out and did about two miles in 30min.  Then I got back took a breather and then said to my son, lets go for a bike ride.  My goal for him is to get off his training wheels this summer.  So he and I went out and did a two mile ride.  Not much on a bike but for me who doesn't ride much and him it was huge.  I was proud I was tired after running but I decided being a healthy mom and setting a healthy example was more important to me then relaxing.  

I am starting to realize that the stuff with the scale will fall into line, but what I am doing in these early months post Mamavation is finding my way to a healthy lifestyle and for that I am very pleased with how I am doing.

Up this week...my goal was to track all my food this week (so far one day done!).  It was also to stick with the every other day running schedule.  On a personal note we head out for our family vacation this  Sunday so I want to have one of my two graduate courses done before I leave.

How was your week everyone???

My goals for this upcoming week
Track my food
Run two-three times
Strength Train 3 times this week


Also, in case you missed it I am doing a giveaway on my blog for a Copy of a great money saving book.  Come check it out and enter the giveaway.

Ok so its time for a little honesty around here.  I have been talking about how great Mamavation was (and believe me it was) there has been a downside as well.  For whatever reason after the campaign ended my eating disorder kicked back into high gear.  I don't know if it was the nature of weight in and pressure that I felt or maybe it was that I was working so hard and following a plan very strictly, or the stress of the end of a shitty school year but my mind went crazy.  Now thankfully I wasn't full on binging but there were days where I overate, there were a lot of times I ate crap, then felt like crap, then ate more crap because I felt like crap.  It is a viscous cycle and I hate it and often times this is very very hard to stop.  

First let me say how crazy it is that it is already July.  I am so excited for all the finalists who are in the process on the way to becoming Mamavation Mom's.  I know how nerve wracking this is for them and I wish them all well.

Although my eating has not been great-not horrible but not great....I have been running. Every other day and on Sunday I ran a practice 5k.  Although my overall time only dropped by like 5 seconds I was able to get my first mile time down to 13 minutes which was great and it means I am running the whole thing and at a good pace too.

My goal is to get my eating back under control it has been hard the first week being home with my kiddos and making the transition but I have a goal for the summer which is to be as active as possible and get down to about 210 or less before school starts again.  I hope you all have a great week!

How has everyone's week been??

My weekly update, I have been eating better and counting weight watchers points and slowly getting active now that I am feeling better.  I have a 5k in two weeks that I would like to be running a bit more for so I have been going out every other day jogging-I may up that to a few days in a row although I don't want to over do-I always an all or nothing mentality.

So my goals for this week.  Track my food, back to basics, and every other day runs with strength training from the Mamavation plan at least two days.  How was everyone's week?

Ok so this week was not so great, I am still sick.  Not bed ridden sick but this lung this just won't go away. Anything physical and I am coughing so hard I can't breath.  The doctor now has me on steroids and is hoping that will help...yikes.  So needless to say the scale was not my friend and I had my first gain at weight watchers in ten weeks (I did have a small gain while doing Mamavation but my weigh in days were different).  I gained 1.8 which is a lot and I am disappointed but only more driven to keep an eye on my food intake until I am able to exercise more.  My goal is to get out and walk a few miles even if I can't run them yet.

Looking forward I am signing up for 3 5k....one in three weeks that I would like to try and run most of it.  It is a great race a Go Red for Women event in Elizabeth Park...for those not around me it is a huge park and in the summer the park is full of blooming roses!  Then I am going to do a Penguin Run where you run around the Mystic Aquarium and part of your race prize is a free day at the aquarium.  Then the third is the one I am most excited about.  I am going to do a Zombie chase in Nov!  You can either race as a human or a Zombie.  My thought is if I sign up for enough of them I will keep at it. I know that the jogging played a huge part the weight loss I was able to achieve.

So goals for this week
1.  Run at least once
2.  Walk at least two times
3.  Do two strength workouts

Disclaimer:
“  This post is sponsored by ChopChop Magazine and Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway  ”

Before I get into this post I have to say, I have missed my little blog.  My stint as a Mamavation Mom was a once and lifetime opportunity and I am so blessed to have been chosen but I did miss my little space of the web.

So for those of you not following along over at Mamavation it was a wild ride that is for sure...I will do a bigger post about it when my school year ends (in two weeks-YEAH).  For now all you need to know is this

In the seven weeks of the campaign I lost seven pounds and 15.5 inches (yes you read that correctly, 15.5).  I will put in my before and after photos for you too see.  I did hope to loose a bit more weight but since I applied (which was about 3-4 weeks before I started) I went from 231.00 down to my current weight of 220.0 which means in about two and half months I lost nine pounds and 15.5 plus inches.

Before

Add caption

Before with a serious gut

After-Can't get over how much my stomach shrunk

Yet, more me it is more than that, it has given me a great foundation as a move forward in my weight loss journey. I was taught what I should be eating and when, shown how to make meal plans, giving lots of great exercise opportunities all of which I can do at home so there are no excuses as to why I can't workout.










Even this past week-the first one post campaign I was very sick but I still managed to eat ok but no exercise and I hated it.  It taught me that for seven weeks I made journaling my food, exercising, and eating well was my life.  Now I just need to keep on-Keeping on.

I am so excited to start my post campaign life and earn the rest of those "I lost ____ Pounds with Mamavation".

So I hope you all have a great week and my personal goals is to try and exercise a bit even though I am still really sick.

Also if you have ever even thought of applying for the campaign please check it out and DO IT!!! It was the best decision ever!

Hey everyone I know I already posted but I figured if I didn't do my post tonight I might be too nervous/excited to post tomorrow.  So this week in terms of a recap-According to my home scale I lost a bit under two pounds but having to put clothes on to weigh in at weight watchers I was down .8 which means in two weeks I have lost almost 3 pounds and you know what that is just fine for me. As a girl who only looses about .5 a week I will take it.

For the first time in a long time I feel confident that I can do this again.  For a long time I have felt defeated and not wanting to put in the effort.  Yet for these last few weeks I have been pushing myself diet wise and fitness wise to a whole new level.  I was asked to try not eating grains after breakfast and I have pretty much stuck to that...it has sucked but it has made me really think about what I am doing in terms of eating.  I realize that I waste a lot of calories/points on carbs.  Carbs that are although whole grain might just be adding to my weight issue.

Then the fitness piece-I have done more fitness challenges this last month then I ever have.  Earlier this week I did 340 burpees, I won't lie I cried.  I mean cried when the hazing came out on twitter.  How was by big heavy ass going to get that done.  Then I got a message from Greta one of the other moms and she was crying too.  It made me realize this is hard for all of us, but we can do it if we put our minds to it.  So I did it, 20 at a time, sometimes ten...over the course or a few hours I got 340 on them done.  I was so friggin proud of myself.

That pride also carried over to starting my training for a 5k-I started that Sunday.  I won't lie I hated every damn second of it....but I did.  Even when I thought I would quit the running portion I kept going because if my ass could do 340 burpees it sure as shit could do this training for a 5k!

Needless to say I am so happy the direction I am heading.  If I am chosen as a Mom awesome lots of hard work ahead but I can do it.  If not this has been an amazing push in the correct direction.

Hope you all had as great of a week as I did!

So for those of you who don't know tonight the finalists in the Mamavation Campaign 16 will be announced.  I can honestly say I am nervous-I have gone from hey this is an awesome opportunity to damn I really want this.  I want it bad enough to some days to actually do 200 burpees and walk circles around my house to get my steps in.  Yet, should I not get chosen I would do this again in a heart beat.  Not only did a meet some amazing ladies, more than that I got my ass in gear.  I made some much needed changes and began my journey towards a new healthy life.  In fact this week I lost two pounds at my weight in at Weight Watchers and that is the most I have a lost in a long time.  I have a feeling that all that hazing has something to do with it.  For that I will always be grateful to the Mamavation community finalist or not.  I will check back with everyone tomorrow to let you know if I was chosen as a finalist or not.  Thank you all for your support and love especially for all those in the community and good luck to all the amazing woman in the competition.  Also feel free to stop by the Mamavation TV show on Monday to meet those finalists.  Its a good time-so come check it out!

“This post is sponsored by Color Maker & Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women. I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway ”