I have to say there isn't much by Janet Evanovich that I don't like and this was no exception.  I have to say as much as I love her, I have found that her number series was getting a bit old and some of her other books were not 5/5 they were more 4/5 which is still good in my book.  Well this book was probably one of the better books I have read by her in a few years.  It is an older book by her when we was writing romance novels pre-the number series.  This book was great.  A little bit of mystery, a little bit of romance, and I lot of funny moments.  This was a really fun read and a must for anyone who enjoys Janet Evanovich.  I am giving this book 5/5

So I am still a bit bummed that I am not farther along in my journey but then again I need to keep in mind that it isn't how long it takes me to get there just that I get there.  Well last weekend we had friends over (former roommates of my hubby from college) and this is now an annual event.  So last year we took a photo and we did this year too.  When I compared these two photos I realized just how much of a difference those 35 pounds make.  It puts it into focus that I am doing OK, that I am making strides, and that as long as I keep plugging away I will get there.  So here are the comparison photos of last summer and this summer (it is probably more like 30 pounds but still) what gets me the most is I thought I looked good in that green shirt (what the hell was I thinking).  

Last summer-Me on the end

This summer me in the back holding Miss J

About two months ago I was reading one of my weight loss blog sites and someone mentioned that another blogger had written a book and was talking it up at fitblog.  So I checked it out and it looked like it would be worth a read.  Now I will say that this book spoke to me in many ways.  It was a great discussion on how for the author loosing weight needed to be not about the number on the scale but more with a more positive relationship with herself.  Loving herself as she was.  It also discussed the heartbreak of loosing weight and then gaining some of it back.  This is something I have been struggling with over the last few years.  I lost a bunch of weight then gained it back, partially due to poor habits and partially due to those two amazingly cute kids a had.  So this book was an eye opener for me.  It made me realize that along with working on my eating issues with a professional maybe I can spend some time on my own looking at some of the various resources that Anderson presented in her book. Now I know that every one's weight loss journey is different and there were some things that she discussed in the book that I would not really be into there were other books and websites that I plan to spend part of my summer reading about.  I also liked that this book read like I was reading a bunch of blog posts, which we all know that I love!!  I think that this is a great read for anyone who is struggling in their weight loss battle but more importantly this is a must read for anyone who is struggling with self acceptance!

Ok so I am going to piss and moan here for a bit.  I have tracked my food all week and exercised almost every day and the scale this week.....NOTHING.  I big ole-nothing.  I know that it is more than the scale.  Lets be honest though we all know that when that scale goes down we feel like we are really heading in the right direction.  I have been stuck at his weight for over two months now.  I know this the weight that I usually get stuck at (I did two previous times) so I know I just have to keep going.  I think of Finding Nemo when they sing "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming" I know it will happen.  I know that the 100 plus degree heat with humidity isn't helping things.  I know I can't quit and I wont.  I just really wanted to loose some serious weight this summer.  I am thinking that maybe rather than have a time frame for my goals I just need to have goals and that is it.  I will save those thoughts for another post!  I did finish another book this week about another bloggers weight loss journey and I will post a review about that first thing next week.  Have a nice weekend everyone!


Book Progress 2/10
Weight Progress .6/20 ;-(

I am really going to give this book 3 1/2 stars.  I didn't love it but it still sucked me in anyways. I am in a complete tudor England phase and this was a nice break of pace from my other current novels.  This novel focused more on post Henry VIII rule and on Queen Mary's rule and Princess Elizabeth's rise to the thrown.   My only issue with the book is there were tons and tons of people.  So many that you sometimes got lost in what you were reading.  I do think that I might go back and read one of her early books since I really did like the characters that were created in the book. Not a must read, but still for those Tudor England/Elizabethean England fans a good read.

So I am getting on board with a fun group called prior fat pack from prior fat girl.  One of the prior fat pack Kris suggested that we all put on our big girl panties (or big boy boxers) and just start doing what we need to be doing.  So I figured I would get on this.  I have tracked almost every day this week and walked the dog and hit the gym most nights or did a second trip with the dog.  Although the results were not what I would have wanted such as a five pound loss, I posted a half pound loss this week and read half a book so here are my stats up to date.

Weight Loss .6/20
Books Read 1.5/10

Its happened....I never thought it would again.  I have fallen in love. Head over heels in love.  The kind of love that makes you not care when that loved one does something wrong,  pisses you off, because you are so smitten with them you can easily forget any wrong they have committed.  So meet the new love of my life....it official I am head over heels for this one

Look at those ears, you would be smitten too!

Awhile back I posted about my two former dogs.  I  really truly believed I would never love another dog as much as I loved my little Wiener Dog Rocky.  He was the love of my life, perfect for me in every way.  Yet, after a year or so I realized the greatest compliment I can give my former dogs is to love another one.  I still talk about all the things I loved about my old dogs, but our newest one is so different and I love her for that.  Olivia is now 8 months old, weights a bit over 10 pounds and is a ball full of energy until she crashes and needs to be snuggled.  She loves to play catch, something my other dogs never really got.  She loves to go for walks.  Most days she gets me outside and walking twice a day for 20-25 minutes at a clip and I love it.  It makes me feel a bit less guilty when I don't hit the gym.  She is a Diva in every sense of the word. She wears a rhinestone collar and struts when she walks.  She loves to sit in my lap and snuggle-Sometimes its a pain should I be trying to do important stuff like knitting or playing words with friends.  She is also an attention whore (which I totally am so she and I get each other).  She isn't always perfect, she can destroy a chew toy in less than 20 minutes, she has a proclivity for my unmentionables that some how get out of the laundry basket and into her bed, and she will eat anything out of the crash (and I mean anything).  Yet I am in love.

She brings something to my life that was missing.  It is weird to say it. Those of you who don't have pets might not understand.  She some how completes my life.  I have a great hubby, amazing kids, a job I love, yet she was some how the thing that I was missing.  So now its out in the open I am completely utterly, head over heels in love with my dog!

Here is a few more photos because she is so that cute!

I like this photo because it shows off how small she is

Investigating Mom's Camera

So as I have discussed before I have been spending a lot of time working on figuring out who I really am.  After so much needed time with a qualified professional (Aka Doc C) I have come to the conclusion that for a large portion of my life I have pretended to be something that I am not.   I was always pretending because I so disliked myself that I pretended to be perfect, always happy so that I would be sure people would like me...well over the past few months I have realized that it is better to be myself flaws and all then be something that I am not.


So that brings us up to a few weekends ago when my college best friend Dave married the most amazing and wonderful woman Tammy.  While at the wedding I got to spend the weekend with some of my old college friends who were all Dave's groomsmen.  I was lucky enough to be asked to do a reading at their wedding.  Although I was nervous to go up and see everyone (some of these guys I hadn't seen in over 8 years) after ten minutes I realized it was just like it had always been.  These were amazing men (now with their amazing wives, one of whom was a college roommate of mine).  These were the guys who always made me laugh, were always there more me, and were friends of a lifetime.  Especially Dave, who to this day is hands down the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met (don't tell my hubby that he isn't number one on the list, he runs a close second).  As I went to say goodbye to everyone after a weekend of fun I get very emotional and began to what I lovingly refer to as "Pussy Cry" (aka cry so hard your nose starts to pour snot).  Not only because I would miss Dave and the rest of the guys but because it hit me in that moment...they would have liked the real me.  The completely imperfect me, the crazy one that says stupid stuff, that sometimes eats her troubles away, who sometimes hates herself...they would have still been my friends, they still would have loved me just the way I was.  I didn't have to hide, I didn't have to pretend....they were those amazing people who would have loved me for me.  It breaks my heart in a way that I didn't realize it then, that I didn't trust them or myself enough back then to be myself around them.  Especially Dave, who whether he knows it or not helped me through some of the hardest times of my life.  So to those guys, their wives, and especially Dave and is wonderful new wife Tammy...thank you so much for a great weekend and allowing me to be myself...I just wished I had given you the chance sooner



Oh and here are some pictures from the wedding.  First one is of me and Dave and the second one is Dave and Tammy (aka the kind of girl I always hoped my college BFF would meet and marry)

Congrats Dave and Tammy hope you have a lifetime of happiness.

Well this week I got a ton of exercise in walking my puppy and I managed to get to the gym once this week.  Which isn't bad considering we had swim lessons every day this week.  So not only did I get to the pool four times for Mommy and Me lessons (which anyone who has hauled a baby, mine is 25 pounds, around in a pool that is a work out for sure) I walked the dog for at least 30min everyday.  Which leads me to be pissed that even though I tracked my points this week I lost .1-Seriously what the hell is that!  But I just figure it will catch up with me eventually.  I did manage to finish a book-The Queen's Captive by Barbara Kyle and I will be posting a review by the end of the week.  So here are my stats for my summer goal


Book Goal 1/10
Weight Goal .1/20 (not nearly as impressive at the first one!)

As I was enjoying this weekend with my family I realized that much like the founders of our nation, I am declaring my independence as.  A bit cheesy I know but I am a history teacher so if I am going to be cheesy about anything let it be history analogies right!   I am declaring my independence from being someone I am not....to being free....to being me.  Now if only I knew who the hell that is!






To go along with my most recent post I have also decided to work on figuring out who I am this summer.  I have realized that I have spent much of my life pretending to be something that I am not.  Any of my readers who read my entry for future prior fat girl nomination I mentioned this in my nomination.  I have spent way to much of my life pretending to be things I am not....be it confident, or happy, or always trying to please others and pretending to like things I don't or be a team player when my heart says stand up and speak out.  I have decided (much like the US did in 1776) that I have had enough.  That I need to be free of being some (please excuse my potty mouth) a fake ass bitch.  I know that the people who love me and matter to me will love me no matter what.  They will be willing to work through this process of self discovery with me.  I also think my immediate family will be better off with me knowing who I am.


Now I am not going to pretend that this is some easy thing to do.  I have spent most of my adult, and teenage years too, faking it.  So my goal for this summer is to begin to figure out who the real me is. Flaws and all.  To realize that I don't have to hide behind humor, of a always present smile, or worst of all food.  I know that I can express my emotions.  Say what I believe.  Enjoy that freedom that is what is my god given right and privilege as an American.   Yet, I know that just like in American History there will be mistakes (Hello Civil War and Vietnam) but perhaps that is what makes American and me perfect....we are both perfectly, imperfect

As a dear friend and coworker G and I were discussing the other day....we all have visions of a grand summer when you are a teacher.  For me and G our summer goals are always the same....to reinvent ourselves over our 8 weeks off.  What this really means is that we want to come back to work in the fall as skinny bitches!!   Every summer I have a vision of how damn skinny I will be when I come back to work...well this year yet again I have a vision.  I know that sometimes I get disappointed when I don't reach goals, but in my mind why not have a big goal...something to keep me motivated as those summer parties and goodies are ever present.  So here it is folks my summer goal...Ten Books and 20 Pounds.  I know this a lot of weight for 8 weeks but what the hell...aim big.  Also ten books is a lot too...but even if I get close I will be happy.   My plan this summer is to walk the dog (which is usually a minimum for 25 minutes) 5 days a week, then three days a week hit the gym, and try and do a light abs and arm workout 5 times a week (I have been noticing that as I am loosing weight I am not as toned as I would like to be).  Also, I just found out that the reason I have been so sick lately is most likely a dairy allergy and I am going to have to go back to no or very little dairy, so that should help keep my eating in check.  So there it is folks....my summer goal.  My summer of reinvention here I come......what are your summer goals/plans?