So as I have discussed before I have been spending a lot of time working on figuring out who I really am. After so much needed time with a qualified professional (Aka Doc C) I have come to the conclusion that for a large portion of my life I have pretended to be something that I am not. I was always pretending because I so disliked myself that I pretended to be perfect, always happy so that I would be sure people would like me...well over the past few months I have realized that it is better to be myself flaws and all then be something that I am not.
So that brings us up to a few weekends ago when my college best friend Dave married the most amazing and wonderful woman Tammy. While at the wedding I got to spend the weekend with some of my old college friends who were all Dave's groomsmen. I was lucky enough to be asked to do a reading at their wedding. Although I was nervous to go up and see everyone (some of these guys I hadn't seen in over 8 years) after ten minutes I realized it was just like it had always been. These were amazing men (now with their amazing wives, one of whom was a college roommate of mine). These were the guys who always made me laugh, were always there more me, and were friends of a lifetime. Especially Dave, who to this day is hands down the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met (don't tell my hubby that he isn't number one on the list, he runs a close second). As I went to say goodbye to everyone after a weekend of fun I get very emotional and began to what I lovingly refer to as "Pussy Cry" (aka cry so hard your nose starts to pour snot). Not only because I would miss Dave and the rest of the guys but because it hit me in that moment...they would have liked the real me. The completely imperfect me, the crazy one that says stupid stuff, that sometimes eats her troubles away, who sometimes hates herself...they would have still been my friends, they still would have loved me just the way I was. I didn't have to hide, I didn't have to pretend....they were those amazing people who would have loved me for me. It breaks my heart in a way that I didn't realize it then, that I didn't trust them or myself enough back then to be myself around them. Especially Dave, who whether he knows it or not helped me through some of the hardest times of my life. So to those guys, their wives, and especially Dave and is wonderful new wife Tammy...thank you so much for a great weekend and allowing me to be myself...I just wished I had given you the chance sooner
Oh and here are some pictures from the wedding. First one is of me and Dave and the second one is Dave and Tammy (aka the kind of girl I always hoped my college BFF would meet and marry)
Congrats Dave and Tammy hope you have a lifetime of happiness.
So that brings us up to a few weekends ago when my college best friend Dave married the most amazing and wonderful woman Tammy. While at the wedding I got to spend the weekend with some of my old college friends who were all Dave's groomsmen. I was lucky enough to be asked to do a reading at their wedding. Although I was nervous to go up and see everyone (some of these guys I hadn't seen in over 8 years) after ten minutes I realized it was just like it had always been. These were amazing men (now with their amazing wives, one of whom was a college roommate of mine). These were the guys who always made me laugh, were always there more me, and were friends of a lifetime. Especially Dave, who to this day is hands down the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met (don't tell my hubby that he isn't number one on the list, he runs a close second). As I went to say goodbye to everyone after a weekend of fun I get very emotional and began to what I lovingly refer to as "Pussy Cry" (aka cry so hard your nose starts to pour snot). Not only because I would miss Dave and the rest of the guys but because it hit me in that moment...they would have liked the real me. The completely imperfect me, the crazy one that says stupid stuff, that sometimes eats her troubles away, who sometimes hates herself...they would have still been my friends, they still would have loved me just the way I was. I didn't have to hide, I didn't have to pretend....they were those amazing people who would have loved me for me. It breaks my heart in a way that I didn't realize it then, that I didn't trust them or myself enough back then to be myself around them. Especially Dave, who whether he knows it or not helped me through some of the hardest times of my life. So to those guys, their wives, and especially Dave and is wonderful new wife Tammy...thank you so much for a great weekend and allowing me to be myself...I just wished I had given you the chance sooner
Oh and here are some pictures from the wedding. First one is of me and Dave and the second one is Dave and Tammy (aka the kind of girl I always hoped my college BFF would meet and marry)
Congrats Dave and Tammy hope you have a lifetime of happiness.
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